Figuring Out Our Hidden History- By Toi the Poetic Beauty

I woke up mad

So mad that I actually didn't get much rest the night before

The fire from my anger caused an inferno to my sheets where 

I couldn't get a good night's sleep anymore


Inflamed from the reminder of the things that I didn't want to remember

Watching our history unfold in the movie Hidden Figures

When I saw the story of 3 black women and all they had to go through

On that Movie screen

I silently screamed


"It's not HISTORY!" 

I wanted to yell this to the top of my lungs

Although, the work of these triumphant women is indeed historic

The hatred they endured is far from done


My black coffee has sat on the same table as your white milk so long 

That we should finally be the same temperature.  

But here it is in 2017, I am still going through the same things 

That those 3 women endured


Yes, the movie had a beautiful ending

But I had to look my children in the eyes and say

That this is far from over and 

I probably won't live to see the day


That it will be so. 

Where my piece of American's pie will be considered part of the whole


But until then, it is rehearsed and understood

That I have to do twice as much just to be considered half as good.  

Black women are the most educated group of people in this country, 

so why are people so shock that I have a damn degree? 


If I am the "black" friend, then I am not your friend.  

When whites make me feel that way, I quickly get rid of them.  

Why are you looking at me like that?

No, I am not the exception to the rule of becoming educated while black. 


Check my DNA.  

And you will find that there is a long

List of "colored folks" that are built the same way 

Or better

So quit acting like I'm walking around with an N on my chest, 

Scarlett Letter


This is NOT HISTORY!  When blacks are still scared 

Of the people that were designed to serve and protect, 

But your history books neglect


To show that they were never designed to protect blacks, 

On the contrary, it was the opposite of that. 

A legal extension of the Ku Klux Klan, 

To reassure that the Jim Crow laws would continue to go on as planned.  


And just in the city that I live, 

A street named Florida divides us 

South Baton Rouge looking real nice

But in North Baton Rouge?  Look what they provide us


Hardly any new buildings or thriving businesses run about, 

In the North side as it does in the South.  


I have to drive 30 minutes if I decided to almost die 

To get to a hospital that is on the Southside.  

And the black family as a unit is a thing of movies and fairy tales 

Is what the newspaper details 


So of course me and my family are considered and oddity.  

But how did this become to be?  

Section 8 creates a broken home, 

Where a mother and her kids have to be alone. 

Kids yearning to have their daddy home


Yeah, I woke up mad this morning!  Because as an educator

I have to not only teach my children how things are

But also how they should be. 

Hoping I do my part to destroy history.  


But it is so hard when you have the President of the United States 

That only takes the time to see a black face 

Is if it can done so in front of cameras and lights

But refuses to give any of those black faces the mic.  


They are ashamed of the way they treat us

So they try to make the disconnect of our history bigger

And we assist in this hide and seek game

So we are also to blame, that history is NOT HISTORY, go figure


Toi the Poetic Beauty- whose real name is LaToya Jackson Sibley- was born in Alexandria, LA. She realized that she had a love for poetry at the early age of 9. Toi has written countless poems, plays, and even 3 unpublished books. She currently resides in Baton Rouge, LA with her husband of 16 years, Brent Sibley, Sr. and their 2 children, Brent Jr. and Trista, where she is an educator and also, has chartered the first Rhythm and Poetry Club at her Middle school. She hopes that her words will immortalize her and that they resonate throughout the world

Toi is featured this week on the Thin RedLine Project on Facebook, Instagram and the website.